“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle, or your middle to someone else’s end. Don’t compare the start of your second quarter of life to someone else’s third quarter.
Tim Hiller
Remember that everyone has their own paths and ways.
Every day I see in my office that the people have a huge room of jealousy in their hearts. I do not criticize anyone; I can’t even if I want to. The reason is in those people I have been the one too. I was afraid of losing my face to my coworkers or colleagues, so I keep getting jealous of what others have in their lives and why they have. There were many reasons to get envious of others, especially those who had higher ranks than me; it was so good for them to have everything.
Don’t Compare Your Beginning to Someone Else’s Middle represents a true phrase, which indicates that we should gradually move in small steps and not compare ourselves with others in work and life.
I was helpless to come out of that trap of getting jealous. So I know what are the positive and negative effects these things bring to you. This is why I am sharing some details of the feelings and their effects on our environment.
The first thing is here that no matter what, everyone is different, even the twins born together have a similar appearance can not be the same in spending theirs live. Some are very hardworking, and some are very smart to figure out everything for them. Some are lucky enough to get everything, and a lot are those who struggle.
Struggling means to sharp themselves first and then come into the market to sell their products or services or even themselves to make their way to survive.
Those strugglers can become super rich based on their luck and hard work, or through illegal ways, but that got the luck. The reason for getting jealous and eyeing other’s fate and their blessings. This idea is like a fish sees the sky to fly. Looking at others’ way of doing things and getting success is their hard work, and their path and destiny are totally different from you.
When we realize this thing, we created so much mess already in our lives. After reaching over here, I have realized that every journey has its own beginning; it could be difficult, or it could be easy for others and you, but without the start, you can not move further; this is the initial path of every destination. So when we take the start, it might not be others start too, it is more likely that they have reached their destination or maybe they are in the middle and have started the success again so far.
Being in this state where you have to bear the initial step, this feeling emerges when we rush to the other step and do not appreciate what we have already made up to this level.
Stop rushing to the next level and learn every detail of what life has planned for you to teach you. If you keep on looking to others, you might lose your path for nothing. Looking at others and their success will not change your destiny or path, but you will eventually lose your path in the end. Let us take the example of two men are driving their cars on the road; one has high speed and experience in how to drive, and the other is a newcomer while both are driving decently. Still, the newcomer is only focused on the other car and driver. Do you know if he keeps going like this, what would happen in the end?
He might end up in a jeopardize condition.
This will not affect the other car driver and his path; you will be in bad condition. This is a total self-loss.
here is one of the saying by Marquis de Condorcet
“Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.” – Marquis de Condorcet
there is no comparison between humans because everyone is special and unique, and everyone has their one skills and specialty they are good at. This has nothing to do with other’s success and your failure. If I start looking down on me because I can only write one book in a month, my fellow is a famous scriptwriter he can write full movies in a month.
Is this a fair comparison?? NO!
My skills and skills are not on a single page even though he gained experience from his hard work and what I am doing, just looking at him hating myself and criticizing myself for not being competent enough. This is totally insane, but it is not only me. Everyone is in this state.
Being envious spreads negative vibes.
The more you stay in this condition, the more negativity around you, and you can not work in peace and not will it be easy to motivate yourself to achieve your goals.
How to overcome this?
Overcoming such feelings of you are not a bad option to consider. You can change your attitude towards others anytime. This all depends upon you. The basis of overcoming anything is realization. First, if you realize that you are doing this wrong, you can easily overcome it. Then comes the second category, who does not realize that this deed is bad, and it is the reason for their stressful behavior.
Here are the steps to follow for making yourself happy again and let your fears of losing and looking down fade away in a go.
- Accept yourself as you are and know your strengths.
- Be motivated for yourself first.
- Count on your blessings all time and appreciate them
- Focus on your dream
- Find positivity in your surrounding, not negativity.
Accept and love yourself.
The first thing you will do is look in a mirror and see how perfect you are and appreciate yourself for whatever you have in your life. this is the love potion you need from you. You have to feed it to yourself first.
Start looking for what strengths are built-in you. The strengths you keep, you should be aware of them unless someones take advantage of them; for example, you know how to deal and negotiate with others, and someone uses your straight to take out their advantage while leaving you in chaos.
The more you know yourself, the more you will be feeling blessed and happy for a lifetime because once you are blessed with some of the strengths you have now, they will be with you forever; no one can take them from you, you know it.
When you know your strength, you will gradually develop the sense to use them at the right time for the right purpose and will not let others use them and use you for some bad purpose.
“To love is to stop comparing.” – Bernard Grasset.
Be motivated for yourself first.
When you start your day, try to hold a second for yourself and give yourself a boost to motivate yourself because if you still are trying to compare your strengths to others’ strengths, then keep in mind that there are always others who are more capable than you.
So not try to embarrass yourself for such reasons. Accept your weakness and improve them gradually.
When you do this activity daily, this will become your habit, and you will be holding on to it with a great effort producing the result. You will know that there is only you that is you; no one can be you. Love yourself before you love someone else first.
Then comes the point of respecting others; it is a common reality that we tend to criticize others when we feel less confident, so to feel more easy and good, we start criticizing others that make them feel bad. They hit us back with even worse comments. This war creates restlessness in both people’s life and even in your surroundings; people get upset too.
Count on your blessings all time and appreciate them
Everyone is blessed with many blessings; all it takes the eye to see and the heart to feel, and a mouth to appreciate.
If you take a look around, there are huge numbers of blessings around you that you can not even count all in one day. Maybe all those people that you compare yourself with do not have these.
If you focus on what others have and do not appreciate what is in your ownership, you will never have enough; those things you fancy will never be enough to make you feel satisfied. You need to stop yourself from this thinking to have a peaceful and happy life.
Think first before you make any decisions and put yourself in a stressful situation. These all are your thinking, where in reality, if you stop thinking in a bad way and love yourself for what you have, that might change your life into a happy journey.
Focus on your dream
when you are busy focusing on your goals and dreams, you will have fewer chances to see what others are doing and what they have, and you don’t have. Remember your goal and what you are struggling for from the start, and what you want in the end. Love your journey, no matter what.
There will always be ups and downs, but remember that the more hurdles you will have, the more beautiful the journey result will be. The more experience you will gain, the more lessons you will learn.
The more you get mature with the journey, and you will know how to handle or deal with matters and peoples. Always try to do what you love to do and ignore the critics you hear or see from others. People always have to say something against others, whether you are in a good position or bad. So save your energy and work devotedly to your work. The important thing while working on your dreams all you need is the ability to ignore. Ignorance is a good way; try to ignore what bothers you from listening to others and bothers you by looking at others.
Ignore what is there stopping you and becoming a hurdle in your way to achieving your goals. Those hurdles can come from anywhere; they may be from you as well from your habits; you can be making hurdles for yourself too. Ignore what habits you have had and develop the habits that will encourage you and speed up your journey to your desired destination.
Find positivity in your surrounding, not negativity.
When you keep on looking for negativity in your life, there would be more negativity in your life, and if you try to search for good and positivity in bad as well, there will be positiveness around you. It depends on how you think it is and what you believe in.
If someone has something extraordinary than yours, then appreciate them on their achievement rather than thinking bad about them and feeling low. Like no one is perfect, and deep inside, we all know this fact, but one the shallow node we do not want to accept it emotionally. We all are the same as imperfect humans, and we cannot be perfect; even if you call yourself so, it will not make you perfect.
Instead of this, learn to love yourself and realize what you have is pretty enough to spend a healthy and beautiful life.
There is a beautiful line said by someone:
If you start looking at your imperfection differently, you can see that those imperfections in you make you different from others and make you who you are, so you are already perfect.
Let us learn first how to love ourselves; in this way, only we can fight with our inner fears and change our lower confidence into high confidence.
After leaving Wells Fargo Bank in 2014, Daniel began a career as a finance consultant, advising companies and individuals on economic policy, labor relations, and financial management.
At Promtfinance.com, Daniel writes about personal finance topics, value estimation, budgeting strategies, retirement planning, and portfolio diversification.
Read more on Daniel Smith's biography page.
Contact Daniel: daniel@promtfinance.com